It’s been just over one year in Asia, and here I am watching the cybermeter run on the computer in this netcafe. I might as well spend an hour, because I’m already at 80 rs, and it’s only 20 rs more for another 15 minutes. It seems that right now this is the biggest concern on my mind. Expense, expense, expense. I don’t think in CAD anymore, but I spent 150 rs, less than $3 on breakfast, and it felt like a lot. Last night I had a big splurge and spend almost $10 on beer. Oh, regret…
After a year traveling it seems that I’m supposed to write a big note and reflect. Talk about the adventures I’ve had and the amazing things I’ve seen. I guess I have seen some amazing things. In the last two weeks I’ve smoked with Babas beside the Ganges in Haridwar, rode the local bus to Agra to see the Taj, viewed the kama sutra temples of Kharajuraho during the durga festival while fending off advances from my skeezy hotel manager, and seen the cremation ghats of Varanasi. These are amazing things. I still feel every day that I’m lucky to be able to do these things. I’m blessed that I finally stopped thinking about traveling and finally started doing it. BUT. I think any traveller will tell you it is not these tourist things that make the trip, and in the end they feel unimportant.
You know what I really remember? I remember the faces of the people in Sumatra, and my heart is breaking for them knowing that after the earthquake, some of those faces are no longer there. It feels personal to me. I imagine the places I slept and ate, and I imagine most of them aren’t standing anymore. Maybe it’s the rain, or the beer, but today is a melancholy day.
I don’t know when, but somewhere in the last month I realized that I wasn’t going home in December. I’m planning to stay in India until the end of January. I don’t know where I’ll go after that…Canada, Europe, Mexico? This trip has really become a selfish one. If I hadn’t found climbing, maybe I would have worked for an NGO and tried to put my engineering skills to some good use. Instead, it feels like it’s just about me, but that vision of me is getting cloudier and cloudier.
Paraphrasing a number of good books, a person travels too long and their soul loses it’s moorings. You are out of context. I think it will take some time at home decompressing before I